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Father Mike Schmitz: How do I support my seminarian ex-boyfriend?

I am a young woman who was dating a terrific young man. Things were going along really well for us when he broke up with me because he believed that he needed to enter seminary and discern whether or not God is calling him to be a priest. I want to support him, but I’m not sure how.

Father Michael Schmitz
Ask Father Mike

Thank you very much for writing and for this question. In addition, thank you so much for wanting to support your ex-boyfriend in his active discernment of the next step God might be calling him to. I can only imagine how tough this has been for you. Any breakup can be difficult, but when the other person is “pursuing their calling,” one can feel a little guilty about the sadness. I’ve spoken with folks who have been broken up with because the man was entering the seminary (or the young woman was entering the convent) who feel like they ought not to be sad or angry because the other person is trying to do God’s will. And yet, it can still be a sad thing. You were both invested in the relationship, and I imagine that the both of you had talks about a possible future together. To have to let go of those dreams gets to be difficult. You have permission to be sad and even angry about it. 

But I want to invite you to keep something in mind before all else: This is not just his story. So often, when I talk with someone in your position, altruism kicks in, and they will say things that indicate they see the breakup as only about the one who is entering the seminary or the convent. Yes, your ex-boyfriend is responding to a potential call from the Lord to be a priest. But this is a part of your story too. This relationship and this breakup and this pain that you are going through is your story. If God is calling this young man in a different direction, remember that he is also calling you in a different direction. You are not an “extra” in your ex-boyfriend’s vocation story. You have your own story, and God is actively calling you forward. 

Again, do not ever forget that where you are right now is a necessary part of your story. In fact, God is doing something in your life that he could not do without it. Obviously, things could be different, but the very fact that God has allowed you to be in this situation and go through this pain indicates that he wants to do something in your heart through this. This is a part of your story, and your call in the moment is to enter into whatever God is doing in this. 

You get to ask the question: How is God loving me in this moment? God never ceases to love you. He never ceases to draw you closer to his heart. How is he calling you to draw closer to him in faith? How is he calling you to trust him more radically? This is the question for all of us in any season. 

There are times in our lives when the skies are blue and God is loving us in a gentle and powerful way. But there are also times in our lives when the skies are dark and the weather is stormy and the waves threaten to swamp the boat in which we are sailing. In these moments, God is still loving us. He is loving us in a mysterious and beautiful way, even if it doesn’t feel beautiful. How is God loving you now? Further, how is God calling you to enter into his love? 

In order to respond with your whole heart, I invite you to pray like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus prayed, “Father, let this chalice pass from me.” He didn’t pretend that everything was great. He was in the midst of incredible distress and trial. And his prayer echoes the pain in his heart. He let himself be honest with the Father. But then he continued, “Yet not my will but yours be done.” In the midst of his honest prayer, he also expressed his trust. 

Let this be the model for your prayer: Honesty and trust. 

God is doing something in your moment of loss. He is doing something that could not be accomplished without this. He is loving you. Enter into his love with honesty and trust. 

Father Michael Schmitz is director of youth and young adult ministry for the Diocese of Duluth and chaplain of the Newman Center at the University of Minnesota Duluth. Reach him at [email protected] 

Ordination and installation set for the Cathedral

Bishop-elect Felton
Bishop-elect Daniel Felton
(Photo by Mary Rasch)

The ordination and installation of Bishop-elect Daniel Felton will take place at 11 a.m. May 20 at the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Rosary in Duluth. The evening before, Vespers will be celebrated at the Cathedral at 5 p.m. Unfortunately, due to COVID-19 restrictions, in-person attendance at these events is by invitation only. However, the ordination will be livestreamed by the Cathedral and available at www.dioceseduluth.org. Bishop-elect Felton is also planning to celebrate Masses in each of the diocese’s five deaneries in the coming months to meet the faithful.

Father Daniel Felton named bishop for Duluth Diocese

Today, the Holy See announced that Pope Francis has named the Very Rev. Daniel Felton, of the Diocese of Green Bay, Wis., to become the tenth bishop of the Diocese of Duluth. His episcopal ordination and installation as bishop of Duluth have been set for May 20.

Bishop-elect Felton
Bishop-elect Daniel Felton

Bishop-elect Felton, who has served as vicar general and moderator of the curia for the Diocese of Green Bay since 2014, was born Feb. 5, 1955. He is the son of Carol and the late Ken Felton and the oldest of five children and attended St. Edward School in Mackville, Wis., and Appleton West in Appleton. He holds a bachelor’s degree from St. Norbert College in De Pere, Wis., in religious studies and psychology; a master’s degree in theology from St. John University, Collegeville; and a licentiate of sacred theology and a master’s degree in social communications from the Gregorian University in Rome.

Bishop-elect Felton was ordained a priest on June 13, 1981, by Bishop Aloysius Wycislo for the Green Bay Diocese. His parish assignments have included Holy Innocents in Manitowoc, St. Raphael the Archangel in Oshkosh, and St. Francis of Assisi Parish in Manitowoc. Father Felton was also the director of affiliate affairs for the Catholic Telecommunications Network of America.

Father Felton serves as a member of the diocesan College of Consultors, Presbyteral Council, Bishop Advisory Council, Personnel Board, Diocesan Finance Council, St. Norbert Board of Trustees, and Silver Lake College Board of Directors. He is also a member of the National Advisory Council of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.

“We are grateful to our Holy Father, Pope Francis, for sending us our next bishop in this joyful Easter season,” said the Very Rev. James Bissonette, diocesan administrator for the Diocese of Duluth. “We look forward to getting to know Bishop-elect Felton and beginning this new chapter in our walk of faith together under his leadership as our next shepherd.”

Bishop-elect Felton succeeds the late Bishop Paul Sirba, who died Dec. 1, 2019.

The Diocese of Duluth serves the 10 counties of northeastern Minnesota with more than 44,000 Catholics and 71 parishes.

Father Mike Schmitz: Does God just coerce people into following him?

I have recently been reading the Old Testament and have encountered some things that have troubled me. Among them is the way God talks about blessing those who obey him and cursing those who disobey him. I much prefer the New Testament and how Jesus reveals that God is love and calls us to love him. This just seems like God is coercing people into following him. What do I do? 

The fact that you are wrestling with this demonstrates that you have an issue and are willing to engage with it rather than just ignore it. These are the kinds of questions that can lead to a deepening and maturing of faith, so I am very glad that you asked about this.

Father Michael Schmitz
Ask Father Mike

Your observation is one that others have made as well. In our times, few people are familiar with the entire Bible. We might just be knowledgeable about certain verses or certain “ideas” that are found in Scripture. When we encounter the fullness of the Bible, it can confront us with elements we had not considered before. 

Further, what you noted can make a relationship with God seem incredibly “transactional”; the reason you follow him is to get good things and to avoid getting bad things. Even more, you noted that this seems to impugn the character of God, as well, and makes it look like he is willing to curse or bless people depending on how they respond to him. 

But let’s consider a few important points. 

You indicate that you are troubled by the fact that there are blessings connected with obeying God and curses connected with disobeying God. I can understand that this kind of thing might bother some people. But let’s also look at two things: human nature and the world around us. 

The world around us is completely filled with a thing that most people prefer to avoid: consequences. Every choice we make has consequences attached to it. We do not live in a world where we can make choices without also being willing to accept the consequences of those choices. Many times, those consequences have the positive effect of shaping our choices. (I choose not to eat the second double cheeseburger because I do not want to live with the consequences of eating the second double cheeseburger.) The fact that consequences exist does not mean that I am being coerced into eating only one cheeseburger. The consequences reveal what I’m truly choosing when I make decisions. 

Let’s emphasize that point: Consequences reveal what we are actually choosing when we make decisions. A person chooses to have the extra drink, and later realizes that what they’ve really chosen was a headache the next day, or they may discover that they have taken another step towards becoming dependent on alcohol. A person chooses to play video games and later realizes that what they’ve really chosen was to get a bad grade on the assignment that was due the following day. A parent chooses to scroll on their phone to get the latest updates on their friends and news in the world, and later realizes that what they’ve really chosen was to create distance between them and their spouse or children. 

There are an infinite number of examples in our own lives that each one of us could think of, and they all do the same thing: They are all oriented towards making us more free or more enslaved, more wise or more foolish. 

God’s laws are the same. God makes it clear that he desires for human beings to live in a certain way. If we live the way he has revealed, we become free and wise. If we defy his will and his commandments, we become enslaved and foolish. This happens all of the time, and it happens regardless of our wanting it to. They are not arbitrary consequences. They are inherent in the very act of choosing. 

One of the things that holds us up is that we imagine that God’s “blessing and cursing” is arbitrary. It is not. The blessings are the intrinsic result of choosing to obey him, and the curses are the intrinsic result of choosing to disobey him. He is not coercing people into obedience by holding out a carrot (or being willing to use a stick), he is revealing what kinds of behaviors lead to life and which kind lead to death. 

And this leads us to the second thing we need to acknowledge: human nature. I wonder if we aren’t being too generous with ourselves if we think that we don’t need rewards and punishments in our lives. Let’s even simply imagine that all of God’s laws are just that, rewards and punishments. Let’s say that the blessings and curses of Deuteronomy are even arbitrary. Would anyone be willing to assert that human beings are so good that we wouldn’t still need them? Every parent knows that children learn what is right and wrong through a system of reward and punishment. Hopefully, that system is just and fair and good, but it will be a system of “blessing and cursing” nonetheless. And this is how human beings learn. This, in fact, is how we have to learn. 

If we are ever to get to the place where we are willing to do the right thing “for its own sake,” we have to learn via the system of consequences. Yes, the goal is to be people who love God for his own sake and not out of a fear of hell or a selfish desire for heaven, but none of us automatically have that kind of love in us. That kind of love is more mature than most people have in them. It has to be cultivated and taught. The “blessings and curses” are the way our good Father in heaven is teaching us how to love. 

Last thing: Whenever we read a challenging piece of Scripture, I always encourage people to “keep reading.” For example, a person might wrongly have the impression that the New Testament doesn’t talk about things like hell or how loving God looks like obeying him. But what we find is that Jesus talks more about hell than anyone else in the entire Bible. (Yes! Loving and gentle Jesus!) He does this because he actually loves people and doesn’t want them to experience that consequence of disobedience. Jesus is also the one who says, “If you love me you will keep my commandments.” Even in the New Testament, God reveals that obedience and love are intrinsically connected. 

And the same is true in the Old Testament. In the chapter of the book of Deuteronomy immediately following the blessings and curses (Chapter 30), God reveals the motive for the punishments he is willing to allow: so that you may be brought back home after having been scattered, so that you may be gathered into God’s loving arms after you have been isolated, and that you might “love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and all your soul, and so may live” (Deuteronomy 30:6). God wants us to live and love, that is why he lets us choose it freely. 

Father Michael Schmitz is director of youth and young adult ministry for the Diocese of Duluth and chaplain of the Newman Center at the University of Minnesota Duluth.

Bible podcast by Father Schmitz tops Apple Podcast list

Father Mike Schmitz says that if you had asked him to come up with an idea for a podcast that rise to the top of Apple’s Podcast charts, “The Bible in a Year” wouldn’t have been it.

podcast cover artAfter all, he says, the podcast, put out by the Catholic publisher Ascension Press, is pretty simple: a few words of introduction, three readings from the Bible, and a few words of explanation, around 20 minutes all told.

But starting Jan. 2, and for 17 days after, the top of the Apple Podcast charts is where “The Bible in a Year” landed. As The Northern Cross goes to press in February, it remains in the top 5.

Father Schmitz, director of youth and young adult ministry for the Duluth Diocese and chaplain of the Newman Center at the University of Minnesota Duluth, told The Northern Cross it was good timing that it came out right at the beginning of the new year, when people are trying to begin new things they know they need to do.

“That definitely, I think, is one of the reasons why it was so popular,” he said.

But he believes there’s more to it. He said that personally, he found himself being tired of “more and more noise and more and more distraction and more and more catastrophe” in the world around him and recognized the need to be rooted in something eternal, like the Scriptures. The Bible in a year is something he says he would have wanted to do himself anyway.

“It’s really cool that this is doing so well,” he said, noting it’s an indication of people’s thirst for wisdom and truth.

Father Schmitz says the podcast reading plan was developed around “The Bible Timeline,” the in-depth study by Jeff Cavins. The concept is reading the Bible in a way that is attentive to the story of salvation history from beginning to end.

But, noting that following the Bible Timeline plan strictly wouldn’t get to anything from the New Testament until November, the podcast format has a modification — four “messianic checkpoints.” For instance, beginning on Day 99 there will be a solid week just reading the Gospel of John.

Father Schmitz said the brief explanations are something many people find helpful people trying to understand the context, or when they discover that the Bible is full of brokenness and not just “stories from the Hallmark Channel.” The stories in the Bible are “not clean, not neat,” he said.

Yet Father Schmitz said God enters into that covenant with broken people and brings out greatness in the midst of brokenness.

The podcast’s success has garnered a flurry of media attention for Father Schmitz. He said the podcast has been mentioned in papers as far away as Australia. Major secular newspapers in England have run stories. So have Catholic News Agency and Catholic News Service and Religion News Service in the United States, through whom it is available to numerous other religious and secular media.

Father Schmitz was also been interviewed by conservative political commentator Ben Shapiro, host of his own popular podcast and video channel, which on YouTube alone has 2.68 million subscribers. Closer to home, he was interviewed in KARE-11, the NBC affiliate in the Twin Cities.

And the daily podcast is only one of the projects in the pipeline for the busy priest. He has a forthcoming book on the Sacrament of Reconciliation, co-authored with Father Josh Johnson. His weekly videos for the Ascension YouTube channel, which he’s been doing for the past five years, routinely draw tens of thousands of views.

When the pandemic hit, Ascension also began streaming his weekend Mass from UMD.

“That has been a weekly thing ever since last March,” he said, seen by people from all over, some of whom still can’t go to Mass.

And that’s in addition to his duties in the diocese, where he said UMD is still dealing with challenges from the pandemic and students will be participating in SEEK, the national conference of FOCUS, the Fellowship of Catholic University Students.

But he says he can’t complain about about having a lot on his plate when it’s an honor to be able to offer that service.

“It’s just a gift,” he said.

— By Deacon Kyle Eller / The Northern Cross

 

Editorial: Seeing past the 50-50 split

The results of the election verified something that has been increasingly clear over a number of recent election cycles: politically, anyway, we’re divided just about in half.

Nationally, in terms of popular vote, out of all those tens of millions of votes cast, the margin was less than 5%, just like it’s been the last three presidential elections. In fact, in the 21st century, five of the six presidential elections have ended up that way.

In the states, many tilt solidly to one side or the other, with elections coming down to just a few “battleground” states with razor-thin margins of victory.

And that same split is visible in the church. In the past election, reportedly those who self-identify as Catholic were also split almost exactly down the middle in terms of whom they voted for.

It’s clear that any path forward has to involve some kind of authentic reconciliation in the truth amid those divisions.

Fortunately, our faith gifts us with this ability. We have a coherent, beautiful, humane social doctrine that is more sane and good and inviting by far than any of the competing ideologies in our world, and which can help purify them all, affirming what is true in them and amending what isn’t. We have a vision of Christ the King who helps us not to “put our trust” in worldly leaders. The church has a long memory and experience of many different kinds of rulers, including not just every American president since George Washington but a whole world of rulers, good and bad, from saints to tyrants and despots.

And it’s striking how consistent our duties as Catholics remain toward civil leaders whether we consider them good or bad. We pray for them, especially for their well-being and their success in doing good. We support them when we can out of service to the common good. And if they should do evil, we resist them to the extent we must — when conscience and our higher loyalty to God will not permit us to do otherwise — such that one might, like St. Thomas More, be the king’s true subject, but God’s first.

It’s not too early to begin praying for our elected leaders — all of them, the ones we voted for and the ones we didn’t.

Deacon Kyle Eller: How can we handle the ‘perpetual outrage machine’ as Catholics?

It’s always interesting when very great and holy saints and even doctors of the church seem to give conflicting advice — like St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Francis de Sales do on the timely and important topic of anger.

Deacon Kyle Eller
Mere Catholicism

Ours is an angry time. Although one hopes it was not intended this way, we have built what some have called a “perpetual outrage machine.” Like fanciful attempts at building a perpetual motion machine, the perpetual outrage machine has many disparate parts working in concert — the diminishment of institutions that once moderated things, a decline in critical thinking, deep polarization, hyper partisan media, and then the jet fuel, the social media algorithms that have created a feedback loop of ever increasing anger.

I can only hope that, like perpetual motion machines, perpetual outrage machines are not really possible, that there’s some natural limiting factor that will grind it to a halt.

Our culture is so angry that many seem to consider anger among the highest virtues, as if it were the only moral choice, such that you will sometimes hear, “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.”

That’s where, at least in Catholic circles, you will sometimes hear St. Thomas Aquinas brought out in defense of righteous anger.

St. Thomas (as well as the Catechism of the Catholic Church) treats anger as a “passion,” which in the language of theology means a kind of pre-moral emotion that naturally arises in the human heart in response to something, in anger’s case a perceived injustice.

Like all the passions, anger needs to be governed by reason and the virtues. But in St. Thomas’s view, directed in this way, anger can be useful in the pursuit of authentic justice, for instance by firming up our will for doing good. One thinks of St. Paul’s counsel to “be angry but do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26).

But then there’s the great St. Francis de Sales. Known as one of the gentlest saints ever, he reportedly spend 20 years learning to control his temper.

Maybe that’s why he says, in his “Introduction to the Devout Life,” that in practice it’s better to avoid anger altogether: “Depend upon it, it is better to learn how to live without being angry than to imagine one can moderate and control anger lawfully; and if through weakness and frailty one is overtaken by it, it is far better to put it away forcibly than to parley with it; for give anger ever so little way, and it will become master ….”

There is a mountain of scriptural warrant for this view. St. Francis quotes the Letter of St. James, which says plainly that the anger of men does not work the righteousness of God (James 1:20). Numerous passages of moral counsel in the New Testament letters of St. Paul and others urge putting away all anger, wrath, and so on, to set aside vengeance and overcome evil with good. In the heart of the Gospel’s moral teaching, the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warns that anyone who is angry with a brother is liable to judgment (Matthew 5:22).

What are we to make of this? Let’s begin with the obvious fact that while St. Francis de Sales’ view rings true to me, I’m not holy enough or wise enough to stand in as judge in this dispute.

Let’s add the less obvious fact that there may be less disagreement between the two doctors of the church than it first appears, that in context St. Thomas is not giving a broad blessing to anger in general or urging people to go around being easily angered or excessively angry — quite the contrary.

And St. Francis, in the very passage I quoted, talks about putting anger away forcibly if need be, which sounds very much like the kind of use of the “irascible appetite” to bolster one’s grit and resolve for doing good that St. Thomas seems to have in mind. He also doesn’t seem to exclude the theoretical possibility that anger can be lawfully controlled; rather, he seems to be giving practical advice that for most people, we’re not virtuous enough for that.

Without writing off either perspective casually, we can still draw some lessons for our angry time. Anger is powerful and difficult to control and apt to lead us astray, for instance by convincing us to seek retribution in an unjust way. I think most people have experienced this danger, where anger leads us to make more of some offense than is really justified. So anger is a dangerous tool. If it is to be used at all, it must be used carefully and sparingly.

What’s more, it’s deceptive in that it often presents itself as a solution to our problems, but it’s more often destructive. In itself, it’s a dubious means to the justice of God. Rather, if it is to be useful, it has to be deliberately transformed into something more like virtuous grit, determination, resolve.

In light of all that, rather than being caught up in the perpetual outrage machine of our culture, we should be on deliberate guard against it, and examine ourselves carefully for where sinful anger may have taken root in our hearts. We are Christians, so our approach to evil is primarily one of overcoming it with good, to the extent of loving and praying for our enemies. If anger has any place at all, it is in strengthening us to do just that.

Deacon Kyle Eller is editor of The Northern Cross. Reach him at [email protected].

Father Richard Kunst: Apparent ‘contradiction’ in the Gospel sheds light on being a living witness

The seminary I went to had a heavy emphasis on writing papers, whereas other seminaries might put more focus on test-taking. Mine was one in which I felt like it was a continuous stream of producing papers that no one would ever read except for the professor.

Father Richard Kunst
Apologetics

I remember one of the cardinal rules about writing papers for my scripture classes was to never “proof-text.” In a nutshell, proof-texting is taking biblical quotes out of context to argue a particular point. Proof-texting could easily get you into trouble, because if you take certain quotes out of context, it would appear that the Bible is full of contradictions.

This is something a lot of non-religious critics like to point out. You will sometimes hear them ask how can one believe in the Bible when it is rife with contradiction. There are no actual biblical contradictions when it comes to the overarching truths expressed in the Word of God; truth cannot contradict truth. But again, taken out of context we can easily make things sound contradictory.

I will give you my favorite example, which I think I may have done in a past column. In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus says these familiar words: “… Everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says ‘you fool’ shall be liable to the hell of fire” (5:22). Now if we were to proof text this verse and pull it out of context, it would look very bad for Jesus when in the very same Gospel Jesus says this to the scribes and Pharisees, 18 chapters later: “Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘If anyone swears by the temple, it is nothing; but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.’ You blind fools!” (23:16-17a).

See the contradiction? That is the problem with proof texting.

Proof-texting is not really the point of this column. Rather, I am going to give another example of proof-texting to make a larger point. Again in the Gospel of Matthew Jesus says, “Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your father who is in heaven” (6:1). He goes on to say in this familiar passage that when giving alms, don’t sound a trumpet to be seen, and when praying don’t pray at the street corners so as to be seen. This all makes sense, of course, because we should not have a relationship with God that has the purpose of receiving the praise of men!

But then there is this other passage in the same Gospel. Jesus says something that on the face of it seems pretty contradictory, though of course it is not. In yet another very famous passage from the Gospel, Jesus, speaking to his disciples, says: “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (5:16). It seems like Jesus is telling his disciples to let everyone see the good work they are doing, and then less than a chapter later he is telling them not to let anyone see the good they are doing, so what gives?

There is a difference between “showing off” and giving witness. On the face of it, by all outward appearances they may look very much the same, but of course they are very different. If we do charitable acts to be congratulated or if we pray piously in church or elsewhere to show people that we are “holy,” then we are in fact not holy or charitable, we are grandstanders using religion to benefit ourselves.

If, on the other hand, we are doing acts of charity in such a way that we ourselves are transparent, not bringing attention to ourselves but only to God, then indeed we are acting in a virtuous way.

I have often applied this concept to how we priests preside at Mass. If I, as the presider, become the attention-getter, if I say Mass in such a way as to bring attention to myself, then it is the “Father Rich Show.” People do not come to Mass to see the “Father Rich Show” (or insert any priest’s name). People come to Mass to receive the Eucharist and get closer to God. Anything I do that emphasizes attention on myself takes away from Christ and the Eucharist. I, as priest, need to be completely transparent.

So it is with any Christian act, whether it be praying, charitable giving, fasting, you name it. It must not be our intention to get attention. Proof-texting aside, that is a fact.

Father Richard Kunst is pastor of St. James and St. Elizabeth in Duluth. Reach him at [email protected].

Father Michael Schmitz: What is the point of the Last Judgment?

I understand that when we die, we are immediately judged by God. It is my understanding that we either then go immediately to hell or heaven (via purgatory if necessary). If that is the case, why is there something called the “Last Judgment”? Are we judged again? Is it a “second chance”?

This is a fantastic question. I will have to divide my answer up into two parts. In the first part, I want to highlight a few things about the particular judgment. And in the second part (next month), I will get to your actual question about the Last Judgment.

Father Michael Schmitz
Ask Father Mike

Before that, let me affirm your understanding of the fact that we are all judged at the moment of our death. I would like to add a couple of notes to this (so that all of us can be on the same page). It is an article of faith that, at the moment of our individual death, we will have made a definitive choice for either God or “not God.” We will, with our everyday, actual decisions, have chosen heaven or hell. This choice is irrevocable. Therefore, if we have chosen God, we get him forever. And if we have chosen anything other than God, we get that choice forever.

I hope that you (and anyone reading this) can truly appreciate the seriousness of this. God doesn’t technically “send someone to hell.” He allows us to choose hell against his will. It is God’s will that all of us spend eternity with him. God wills that we all experience his love and joy and Presence forever. And he gives every person the opportunities and all of the grace that they need to make this choice. But if we prefer our own will instead of God’s will, he lets us get what we’ve chosen. God does this because he is good and because he made us free. We are free to choose to love him. And because of that we are also free to reject him.

This decision to reject God seems to me to be remarkably easy. It doesn’t necessarily require that I rage against God with my defiant fist in the air towards the heavens while I curse God. It could look as simple and as undramatic as my being indifferent to him. I wonder how many people miss out on heaven simply because they “don’t care much” about God or because they are just “too busy” or “too distracted” or “too full” to bother with loving God.

Remember, the principle is: God gives us what we’ve chosen. If I have not actively chosen God, then I have not actually chosen God. No one gets heaven by default. Our decisions have to demonstrate the reality of our heart: that we have placed God first in our lives. If I do not actively choose God in life, why would I imagine that I would actively choose God at the moment of death?

Everyone in hell has chosen hell for themselves by choosing “something other than God.” And this is their definitive choice for eternity. As C.S. Lewis famously said, “Hell is a door locked from the inside.”

On the other side, everyone in heaven has chosen Heaven for themselves by choosing to say “yes” to God from their heart. This is not just having nice feelings or thoughts about God but actively conforming our will to his will. As Jesus put it, “If anyone would be my disciple, he must deny himself, pick up his cross, and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). And the great news is: if we choose him, we realize that he has already chosen us! God loves you already and is like a potential groom who is waiting for his potential bride’s answer to his marriage proposal. He has already declared his love for you. Our response makes all the difference. A potential bride who doesn’t answer the proposal will die as a single woman. And a person who doesn’t answer the proposal of Jesus Christ will die outside his family — and spend eternity there.

I know that this first part of my response to your question could be received with fear. Or it could be received with a heavy heart. That’s OK. Those reactions might merely mean that we are taking the reality of eternity seriously for the first time. But we never stay there. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, but we are meant to get to a place where love casts out all fear.

And this is the key: love. God loves you so much that he sent his Son to live, suffer, die, and rise from the dead so that you could live with him forever. He wants you! He wants you to love him back. And he gives us every grace and every chance to love him.

For our part, we must make that choice. And the choice is to love him or not to love him. This is what we are judged on. As St. John of the Cross once said, “At the evening of life, we shall be judged on our love.” So do not be afraid, but also, do not be indifferent to his proposal. Love him back. It is the difference between heaven and hell.

Father Michael Schmitz is director of youth and young adult ministry for the Diocese of Duluth and chaplain of the Newman Center at the University of Minnesota Duluth.

Father Nicholas Nelson: How to make mental prayer

Friends, during this “stay at home” time, this is an opportune time to develop the habit of mental prayer.

What is mental prayer?

Father Nicholas Nelson
Handing on the Faith

It's the form of prayer in which the sentiments expressed are your own. Mental prayer is accomplished by internal acts of the mind and affections based off of simple mediations. In mental prayer the three powers of the soul are engaged: 1. the memory, which offers the mind material for meditation or contemplation; 2. the intellect, which ponders or directly perceives the meaning of some religious truth and its implications for practice; and 3. the will, which freely expresses its sentiments of faith, trust, and love, and makes good resolutions based on what the memory and intellect have made known to the will.

Why do mental prayer?

It enlightens the mind. It disposes you to practice the virtues. It helps us pray as we should.

How to do mental prayer?

Mental prayer consists of three parts: the preparation, the meditation, and the conclusion.

Preparation

Preparation consists of three acts:

  • Faith, in the presence of God, saying, “My God; I believe that you art present with me, and I adore you with all the affection of my soul.”
  • Humility, with a short act of contrition and of prayer to be enlightened, saying “O Lord, by my sins I deserve to be now in hell. I repent, O Infinite Goodness! with my whole heart, of having offended you.”
  • Finally, pray, “My God for the love of Jesus and Mary, give me light in this prayer, that I may profit by it.” Then say a Hail Mary to the Most Blessed Virgin, that she may obtain light for us, and a Glory be to the Father, to St. Joseph, to your guardian angel, and to your patron saint, for the same end. (These acts should be made with attention, but briefly; and then you go on directly to the meditation.)

Meditation

You can always make use of some book, at least at the beginning, and stop where you find yourself mostly touched. St. Francis de Sales says that in this we should do as the bees, which settle on a flower as long they find any honey in it, and then pass on to another. It should also be observed that the fruits to be gained by meditation are three in number — 1) to make affections, 2) to pray, and 3) to make resolutions — and in these consist the profit to be derived from mental prayer. After you have meditated on some eternal truth, and God has spoken to your heart, you must also speak to God, and first, by forming affections, be they acts of faith, of thanksgiving, of humility, or of hope; but above all, repeat the acts of love and contrition. St. Thomas says that every act of love merits for us the grace of God and paradise!

So you must pray; ask God to enlighten you, to give you humility or other virtues, to grant you a good death and eternal salvation; but above all, his love and holy perseverance. And when the soul is in great dryness, it is sufficient to repeat: “My God, help me! Lord, have mercy on me! My Jesus, have mercy!” And if you do nothing but this, your prayer will succeed exceedingly well.

And, before finishing your prayer, you must form a particular resolution, as, for instance, to avoid some occasion of sin, to bear with an annoyance from some person, to correct some fault, and the like.

Conclusion

Three acts are to be made: in the first, we must thank God for the inspirations we have received; in the second, we must make a determination to observe the resolutions we have made; in the third, we must ask God, for the love of Jesus and Mary, to help us to keep our resolution. The prayer concludes by the recommendation of the souls in purgatory, the prelates of the church, sinners, and all our relatives and friends, for which we may say an Our Father and a Hail Mary.

St. Francis de Sales exhorts us to choose some thought which may have struck us more especially in our prayer, that we may remember it during the rest of the day.

Father Nick Nelson is pastor of St. Mary, Cook; St. Martin, Tower; and Holy Cross, Orr. He studied at The Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family in Rome. Reach him at [email protected].